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Sun, Mar. 12th, 2006, 10:57 am

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All tuckered out after a long day of killing infidels, the Muslim extremeist hamster, Aduz Zahir al-Furhee, eeked a final jihad before falling fast asleep.

Mon, Mar. 13th, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)

The gays seemed to have a point: A military that would allow hamsters and chipmunks to fight on the front line certainly couldn't deny that right to humans of different genders or sexual orientations.

Wed, Mar. 15th, 2006 07:53 am (UTC)

In a video tape just released to all the major Saudi Arabian news networks (all one of them), a hamster terrorist threatens to kill his captive (an American hand) unless all hamsters are immediately released from their cages.

The president was quoted as saying, "We will not release the hamsters. Americans do not bargain with terrorists." To which he later added, "Unless they offer us a shitload of money, of course."